Unsatisfied and unhappy

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TA67 Offline
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Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:12 pm



so I'm a sophomore in college now and I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I've been switching majors ever since I got in college because I just can't decide what I wanna do. I'm not a part of any organization, though I'm planning on trying out for the marching band in fall. I wanna live in an apartment in the fall (currently still living with my parents) but the sad thing is I don't know anybody who I'd want to live with me, or vice/versa. All in all I'm really lonely and feel like I'm doing everything wrong with this whole college thing. I'm not really sure what the point of this post was, I guess I just wanted advice or to see if anyone else is feeling the same way. I dunno.


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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:06 pm



Well, if you end having to live someone you don't know, that might be really scary, but maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing ever. Who knows? It's worth a shot at least. Outside of that, I got nothin'.


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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:50 pm



i'd say random roomates at the least are goodlearning experiences and maybe could become good friends and you'll def enjoy the freedom not living with your parents. also marching band will be a great way to stay active and meet new people.
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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:56 pm



the hard times will pass man, trust me, i think almost everyone has gone through similar situations at least a few times in there life


sxetnrdrmr Offline
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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 3:10 pm



what have your majors been? If money was not an issue, what would be your dream job/activity/career? What do you see yourself doing at 40? What truly makes you happy? When you were 10 years old, what did you want to be? In down time, what activity or hobby do you find yourself gravitating to the most?

I ask these because I have had many students of mine in this same situation you are in, and what they have usually done is had their instinctual desires suppressed by something else.

For me it was people telling me that happiness comes from the acquisition of money and material things. People telling me that what I wanted to do (which is what I am doing now) was unrealistic, or not "a real job". I was told that if I didn't make 6 figures I was a failure. I let people - freinds, family, school counselors etc - talk me out of what I truly wanted, and the result was a waste of 5 years of my life, tons of my and my parents money, and failing out of college.

I started college in Architecture cause I love drawing and design...but it was my second choice behind music. I floated through Architecture and also Meterology (cause the Weather has always fascinated me), but should have been doing music the whole time..it is always what I was doing...in the drawing studio I would listen to music; I would miss class to do drumline reheasals. I was playing in 4 different bands. It was always right there in front of me, but I had been conditioned to ignore the "call"

It took me a while to realize that my definition of happiness, and the path to get there, are different than others...and that;s ok. I used the above questions to help redirect my feelings. I was in your exact situation at about the same point...sophomore year in college...before I said "F-it! I want to be a drum instructor, and that's what I am gonna do". I even lost a decent relationship for it, because I was told "...a band teacher is not a real job." by my GF at the time....she was gone real quick!

It might be best to bow out of college for a year, get a job of some sort and just figure out what you want to end up doing...the operative word being YOU...not your parents, society, your friends etc...it is worse to try and force a square peg into a round hole...
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bengwilliams Offline
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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 3:55 pm



What he said ^
"There's more to see than can ever be seen, More to do than can ever be done" -"Circle of Life"

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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:24 pm



make some sort of change
I play and teach music (sometimes even band music!)

I work in music tech and licensing.

Music is an art and positive energy.


TA67 Offline
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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:20 pm



yeah my majors have gone psychology->music->psychology->music->business. Needless to say I've let people pressure me into picking a more "money friendly" major...but I think I know what I need to do.


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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2012 9:34 pm



join the army.
Les femmes françaises ne sont pas poilu, ils ont juste beaucoup d'ombre autour de leurs aisselles, qui donne aux gens la perception de la pilosité français.


TVOham Offline
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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 1:22 am



TA67 wrote:yeah my majors have gone psychology->music->psychology->music->business. Needless to say I've let people pressure me into picking a more "money friendly" major...but I think I know what I need to do.

The average American college student changes his major 5-6 times from Freshman year to the end of Sophomore year.
Everyone has trouble figuring out what they want to do. Just do whatever makes you happy. Worry about money later on. I know people who are rich doing things they hate who are miserable and I know people who are dirt poor living in a van but playing percussion in random gigs here and there and they're perfectly content with their life. Money should come 2nd. What you like doing should always come first.
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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2012 11:57 am



TVOham wrote:
... I know people who are rich doing things they hate who are miserable and I know people who are dirt poor living in a van but playing percussion in random gigs here and there and they're perfectly content with their life.
Money should come 2nd. What you like doing should always come first.

wait...you have met me?

But you are right. From what I usually see, money, and the uncontrolled desire to attain it bring more misery and pain than happiness. I within a school system that has very affluent families, as well as many middle class families. It seems to me that the kids who have the most money are the least happy, the most unsatisfied, the most dramatic, and the hardest to please. Not all of them, but many. The middle class kids are way more grounded...way more genuinely satisfied with their lives...less dramatic.
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TA67 Offline
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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 7:57 pm



do you guys think it's ever too late to pursue your major? like for example, if a guy who's technically a senior in college is just now starting his degree path. is that ridiculous?


petrolika Offline
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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:56 pm



TA67 wrote:do you guys think it's ever too late to pursue your major? like for example, if a guy who's technically a senior in college is just now starting his degree path. is that ridiculous?
nope, some people are either lazy or just don't feel right at certain times... Putting off a major until later in life is sometime the right way to go.
Les femmes françaises ne sont pas poilu, ils ont juste beaucoup d'ombre autour de leurs aisselles, qui donne aux gens la perception de la pilosité français.


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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:18 pm



TA67 wrote:do you guys think it's ever too late to pursue your major? like for example, if a guy who's technically a senior in college is just now starting his degree path. is that ridiculous?
No way. Change it while you're in college, because it'll be a much harder to change it after you've graduated with a degree in something you don't want to do.


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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:31 pm



I'm going to school for Electrical Engineering. I'm not really that fond of it. I will i'm sure closer to when i graduate, but for now not really. I kind of picked it cause i was alright at math and sciences, and wanted to make some money plus my school has a pretty good EE program, and is ranked pretty high. I wish i went to school for like math though, or music. I know a lot of people are super busy as music majors, but i think it'd be fun. I obviously dig drums, so itd be an obvious choice. I didn't want to go into a major where i would have no chance at making money or finding a job. I'm in my 6th semester right now and i've felt like its been too late to change to anything else the entire time i've been in school.

I hope i don't end up regretting it and feeling unhappy forever, but we'll see i guess.
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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 10:20 pm



dcbd wrote:I'm going to school for Electrical Engineering. I'm not really that fond of it. I will i'm sure closer to when i graduate, but for now not really. I kind of picked it cause i was alright at math and sciences, and wanted to make some money plus my school has a pretty good EE program, and is ranked pretty high. I wish i went to school for like math though, or music. I know a lot of people are super busy as music majors, but i think it'd be fun. I obviously dig drums, so itd be an obvious choice. I didn't want to go into a major where i would have no chance at making money or finding a job. I'm in my 6th semester right now and i've felt like its been too late to change to anything else the entire time i've been in school.

I hope i don't end up regretting it and feeling unhappy forever, but we'll see i guess.

when you have money you can do what you want, like teach drums. its a little bit harder to try and make a living doing something you necessarily enjoy but doesn't give you sustainable income,
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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 10:30 pm



bassplace wrote:
dcbd wrote:I'm going to school for Electrical Engineering. I'm not really that fond of it. I will i'm sure closer to when i graduate, but for now not really. I kind of picked it cause i was alright at math and sciences, and wanted to make some money plus my school has a pretty good EE program, and is ranked pretty high. I wish i went to school for like math though, or music. I know a lot of people are super busy as music majors, but i think it'd be fun. I obviously dig drums, so itd be an obvious choice. I didn't want to go into a major where i would have no chance at making money or finding a job. I'm in my 6th semester right now and i've felt like its been too late to change to anything else the entire time i've been in school.

I hope i don't end up regretting it and feeling unhappy forever, but we'll see i guess.

when you have money you can do what you want, like teach drums. its a little bit harder to try and make a living doing something you necessarily enjoy but doesn't give you sustainable income,
If people have a life like mine (no family support, no social life, sucking at drums, working a fast food job to pay bills and hardly get by) i don't recommend going with a major you really don't like. There are some days when i get so stressed out that i just shut down completely, its not really all that great. I recommend dudes going with a major they dig, so that even if it is hard....it can still be a way to forget about other things going on in your life.
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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:22 pm



dcbd wrote:
bassplace wrote:
dcbd wrote:I'm going to school for Electrical Engineering. I'm not really that fond of it. I will i'm sure closer to when i graduate, but for now not really. I kind of picked it cause i was alright at math and sciences, and wanted to make some money plus my school has a pretty good EE program, and is ranked pretty high. I wish i went to school for like math though, or music. I know a lot of people are super busy as music majors, but i think it'd be fun. I obviously dig drums, so itd be an obvious choice. I didn't want to go into a major where i would have no chance at making money or finding a job. I'm in my 6th semester right now and i've felt like its been too late to change to anything else the entire time i've been in school.

I hope i don't end up regretting it and feeling unhappy forever, but we'll see i guess.

when you have money you can do what you want, like teach drums. its a little bit harder to try and make a living doing something you necessarily enjoy but doesn't give you sustainable income,
If people have a life like mine (no family support, no social life, sucking at drums, working a fast food job to pay bills and hardly get by) i don't recommend going with a major you really don't like. There are some days when i get so stressed out that i just shut down completely, its not really all that great. I recommend dudes going with a major they dig, so that even if it is hard....it can still be a way to forget about other things going on in your life.

is it mean that I laughed at your first sentence???


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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:39 pm



TVOham wrote:
dcbd wrote:
bassplace wrote:

when you have money you can do what you want, like teach drums. its a little bit harder to try and make a living doing something you necessarily enjoy but doesn't give you sustainable income,
If people have a life like mine (no family support, no social life, sucking at drums, working a fast food job to pay bills and hardly get by) i don't recommend going with a major you really don't like. There are some days when i get so stressed out that i just shut down completely, its not really all that great. I recommend dudes going with a major they dig, so that even if it is hard....it can still be a way to forget about other things going on in your life.

is it mean that I laughed at your first sentence???


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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 1:15 pm



TA67 wrote:do you guys think it's ever too late to pursue your major? like for example, if a guy who's technically a senior in college is just now starting his degree path. is that ridiculous?
...I changed my major about 10 years after my senior year. The time line is irrelevant...the end result is the most important thing.

Do what you need to, when you need to, to insure future HAPPINESS!!!! You are at your job 80% of your life...YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU ARE DOING IN THIS PERCENTAGE!!! Because it will directly effect the other 20%. whcih are the things that are supposed to make you happy...family, leisure time, etc. If you are unhappy with the 80%, the 20% will also suffer...

...and money DOES NOT equal happiness. Proper management of what ever money you do make will help, but just being stupid rich is not the foundation for happiness.
Iv'e got sXe!!!!
NAATD!!!!
Up the Antix!!!!

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TA67 Offline
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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 2:01 pm



sxetnrdrmr wrote:
TA67 wrote:do you guys think it's ever too late to pursue your major? like for example, if a guy who's technically a senior in college is just now starting his degree path. is that ridiculous?
...I changed my major about 10 years after my senior year. The time line is irrelevant...the end result is the most important thing.

Do what you need to, when you need to, to insure future HAPPINESS!!!! You are at your job 80% of your life...YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU ARE DOING IN THIS PERCENTAGE!!! Because it will directly effect the other 20%. whcih are the things that are supposed to make you happy...family, leisure time, etc. If you are unhappy with the 80%, the 20% will also suffer...

...and money DOES NOT equal happiness. Proper management of what ever money you do make will help, but just being stupid rich is not the foundation for happiness.
I just feel stupid because no matter what path I take, I'll end up graduating 2-3 years after my friends in my class. like most of my friends are doing internships and stuff already, while I'm just blundering around trying to figure out what I wanna do. It makes me feel so dumb...but then again I guess that's what comparing yourself to other people does to you. It's just that there's such a huge emphasis and pressure by everyone and everything on success and getting out of college as quick as possible and knowing what the hell you're doing, and I'm pretty sure I'm none of that.


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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 5:14 pm



TA67 wrote:
sxetnrdrmr wrote:
TA67 wrote:do you guys think it's ever too late to pursue your major? like for example, if a guy who's technically a senior in college is just now starting his degree path. is that ridiculous?
...I changed my major about 10 years after my senior year. The time line is irrelevant...the end result is the most important thing.

Do what you need to, when you need to, to insure future HAPPINESS!!!! You are at your job 80% of your life...YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU ARE DOING IN THIS PERCENTAGE!!! Because it will directly effect the other 20%. whcih are the things that are supposed to make you happy...family, leisure time, etc. If you are unhappy with the 80%, the 20% will also suffer...

...and money DOES NOT equal happiness. Proper management of what ever money you do make will help, but just being stupid rich is not the foundation for happiness.
I just feel stupid because no matter what path I take, I'll end up graduating 2-3 years after my friends in my class. like most of my friends are doing internships and stuff already, while I'm just blundering around trying to figure out what I wanna do. It makes me feel so dumb...but then again I guess that's what comparing yourself to other people does to you. It's just that there's such a huge emphasis and pressure by everyone and everything on success and getting out of college as quick as possible and knowing what the hell you're doing, and I'm pretty sure I'm none of that.
yep...if you spend all of your time worrying about other people, you DON'T worry about yourself. There is no such thing as a "right" time line. I am willing to bet that at least a quarter of those people, in 10 years, are not happy with what they are doing, or are even in a completely different field.

The worst thing we do to ourselves in this society is we feel like we have to fit into some kind of mold to be successful, and then most people end up being miserable because they aren't fullfilling some "greater scheme". Always remember that you have to define your own version of success FIRST, before you set your time line. YOUR OWN version of success...not mine, or yoshinkos, or Ryans, or bassplaces or your friends... whoever...

figure out where you want to go, and then define YOUR OWN path. Take advice from people to help you steer, but ultimately you decide the turns and the speed...
Iv'e got sXe!!!!
NAATD!!!!
Up the Antix!!!!

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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 6:27 pm



excellent advice from sxetnrdrmr ITT.
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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 12:39 pm



snarescience wrote:excellent advice from sxetnrdrmr ITT.
thanks Ryan. I figure, I lived this exact scenario 15 years ago, and am on the other side now so I can give first hand advice!
Iv'e got sXe!!!!
NAATD!!!!
Up the Antix!!!!

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Re: Unsatisfied and unhappy

Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 10:14 pm



Here's my thoughts on this.

I've actually gone through this as well. I'm unhappy and unsettled. I've always depended on drums for a lot of my social interaction, but I lost some of that this year. I also don't like my roommate all too much. He doesn't do anything, which just frustrates and depresses me. I literally do things just to get out of my room.

Here's the solution: Get out of your comfort zone. Go to college parties. Find a group of people you can identify with. Room with someone. Usually it won't be someone you will downright dislike. (I got unlucky, but it isn't TERRIBLE.) You also may want to see how much band you're doing... if it's not benefiting you greatly, think about your priorities. I don't want to discourage you from drumming, but you may want to do some soul searching instead of focusing on a cavies audition... some things are just more important, knowwhatimean?

My guess is that you know what to do but are scared to do it. I'm the same way. Trust me, once you go it, it makes you feel so much better.
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